pick me up: Forever21 edition

Like I mentioned in my previous post, although my closet is filled loads with lovely clothes - I always, always feel as if I have nothing to wear. Whenever I'm taking forever to get ready or when I'm running late and it's because of the "no clothes to wear reason", I've simply dubbed it as "I'm having a clothes crisis". AND, I find that the crisis seems to hit it's peak during the season changeover - especially during the warm weather - insert #classicgirlproblem sigh here.

& let's face it, for the longest time - I only really shopped where I work. It was easy & I got a discount. Now that I don't have access to a store daily, I'm looking for other retailers for other inspirations - imagine that. Also, with lower price points, I don't have to be that angry mom who yells because someone spilled juice on my 100% silk blouse. Cue Forever21.

I'm always worried about quality with F21, but then I tell myself - I'm not shopping there for quality, I'm shopping there for trend. And of course, once in a while you score a true gem, where quality & trend meet - oh! and price! You can't complain much when you're spending minimal dollars on "cool" clothes. So I'm learning to piece together fab finds with classic pieces to make up my own style - my mama-form, my mama-uniform. It's so easy to loose your own style and identity when you're taking care of little ones 24/7 - I think it's important to feel good about yourself, inside & out!

So without further adieu, here's my recent (& cray cheap!) haul from Forever21 ...   

1 *in white & gold // 2 // 3 *in cream & black // 4 // 5 

I got a few other pieces that don't seem to be online anymore ... strange! I also prefer to shop online versus shopping in their stores. It can be super overwhelming shopping online because of the extensive product selection (& of course, not being able to touch & try on the product), but I find it's even more overwhelming at the store - especially when I have my almost 10 month old shopping diva with me, lol. & with a long enough exchange / credit policy - I can always try on my pieces at home & return what I don't like in the stores. I'm happy that I'm going out of my comfort zone & finding pieces that work for me, for cheap! It only means more room in the budget for well, more stuff. Hahaha ...

twenty-seven

The biggest parts of my heart!

I feel a little older, a little wiser.
But one thing is certain, I am more blessed than I was last year.
Making the most of my life every day - living for the moment & loving my most favourites.
Hoping for the best year yet.
Cheers to twenty-seven!

We Survived the First Month!

Sadie was officially 1 month on August 2nd & we've been doing pretty well (did I just jinx it?).

A couple of days after Sadie's birth, Ryan's aunt passed away. She had a stroke and a heart attack late June, was in the hospital for about 2 weeks and fully recovered. She was even sent home. While at home, she suffered another heart attack and was hospitalized again. She then went into a coma that she never woke up from ... & even if / when she did, the doctors deemed her to be in a vegetative state. My heart broke completely for her husband and three kids. So while feeling the joy of having a fresh newborn, our families were grieving the death of a loved one ... it was an emotional week.

It feels like time is flying, but at the same time I can't believe that Sadie has only been around for a month! She's filling out nicely, but still such a sweet little girly girl.

Miss Sadie Baby!

At one month ...

-You're wearing size 1 diapers

-You still love a good swaddle at night time
-You're sleeping a 4 hour stretch at night! 

-Tummy time isn't your favourite, but you love being on Daddy's chest - always trying to hold your head up

-Daddy is also the best at "helping you poop and getting rid of your gas" 

-You ooh and ahh, and love to hear stories - especially from Kuya Aiden

-You adore bath time

-I am convinced that Coldplay soothes you
-Your hair still looks silly

Here's what else we've been up to:

Sleeping
-We're getting some! and for the most part, it feels like we're getting more than what we got with A (again, will the sleep now go away because I said something out loud - please no!). Sadie's been sleeping 3-4 hour stretches at night and once even a 5 hour stretch! I startled myself completely when this happened! Typically, our last feed is around 10:00pm. She's up again at 2:00am for a feed and will go back to sleep. Up again at 6:00am for a feed and will go back to sleep. Then up around 8:30-9:00am, again - to feed. Not too shabby, I'll take it!

Breastfeeding
Challenging, to say the least - refer to my last post for more details. But since then, we went to the breastfeeding clinic and fed with a lactation specialist. Funny how lovely things work out there (Ryan even commented how I was smiling and laughing during the nursing session, lol) and when we get home, the basic principles are thrown out the window! The afternoon after our appointment at the clinic, I felt defeated and discouraged. I called to book another appointment for the very next day - unfortunately (or fortunately) they were booked completely (which I guess makes me feel better, because it goes to show that other mamas are having challenges too!). I settled for an appointment the day after. This forced us to practice. Which is maybe, exactly what we needed. I had a bit more confidence in myself (and the fact that I had a conversation with my mom who told me, you will get it - you did with Aiden). I tried not to stress about a crappy latch and wouldn't be afraid to start over. We're not masters of the whole thing, yet - but I'm hopeful.

As for the frequency of feedings, they're still sporadic. Some days it feels like we're on a "schedule", nursing every 2-3 hours, other days - not so much. I do, however, nurse on demand - so really, I let Sadie lead this one. For 3 night this week, it felt like I was glued to my "nursing chair" from 6:00-10:00pm, nursing every hour! Potential growth spurt? ... A schedule would be nice, but I'm OK with the way things are right now, just want to make sure she's happy, heathy and thriving!

WeightYour one month check up is tomorrow, so your latest weigh in was at the breastfeeding clinic just one day shy of one month. You weighed in at a whopping 8 pounds! Yay! Validates that we're doing something right! **edit: Dr. Wong was really surprised to see how chubby you were (compared to when we saw her last), you're now 8 pounds and 9 ounces!

Challenges
... one night, I was shifting through Aiden's baby photos and was feeling more than nostalgic. Ryan asked me whether I missed the days when it was just A. I choked. I didn't even know how to answer. Because the truth of the matter was, I did. I missed it, beyond words. And I almost felt as though I took that time for granted. And now that I'm being pulled in a million and one directions, I'm wishing that I could tend to my A - the way I used to. I miss my time with him. I do.

And for a million reasons, I feel crappy about this. For obvious reasons, Sadie relies on me tenfold. So as majority of my attention goes to her ... I have to remind myself that things will get better, easier. And that Aiden is learning to adjust too. His independence is soaring.

Me: Post-Partum

I am doing pretty good. The lochia has slowed down and nearly diminished. Compared to last time, the healing has been much faster. My 6 week post-partum appointment will be the week of the 13th and hopefully everything is a-okay! & because my inner motto has really been "this too, shall pass - things will only get better from this point on", I'm really trying to find the positive in all the situations / challenges wer'e finding ourselves in now that we have two kids (two freaking kids - wow).

So, overall - not only has it been a surreal month (my goodness we have a son and a daughter!), it's been well, fulfilling. Though Aiden and I are starting to have a bit of cabin fever (sporadic bfeedingness), we're doing pretty fantastic.

I make milk ...

What's your superpower? ...

Breastfeeding is hard. 
I think that it's the most under-rated, least talked about topic when it comes to pregnancy and labour. & to be honest, it's definitely not easier the second time around.

With Aiden, I didn't even know that I wanted to breastfeed. The early days were a huge blur. I can remember crying (lots) in the wee hours of the morning because we just weren't getting it. Learning to breastfeed truly tested my patience. But with time, practice & patience - it was a wonderful experience, & I was able to nurse until Aiden was 1 years old.

With Sadie (here comes the comparison again), just when I feel like we've finally got the hang of things, an improper latch brings me back to square one. It's frustrating, it's painful and it's tough. But again, like most things during the "newborn phase" -it's a learning experience, we will get better & the rough patches will pass. I have to believe this - for my sanity's sake!

But I am determined to make this work for us.
I stumbled across this this morning ... & it couldn't be more bang on:

Don’t stress too much about achieving the perfect latch or breastfeeding position. 

If it works for you and baby then it’s perfect for you guys! It will take time for you and baby to figure out a way that is comfortable for you both, it’s a learned skill.

I also stumbled across this, which I thought it was interesting and a nice reminder of the benefits of breastfeeding.

So in theory, we must ... try, try & try again.
The sound of Sadie sucking and swallowing the goodness and the look of content on her face after a full feeding ... makes it all worth it. Giving up is really not an option. So, as Ryan would say - hang in there tiger - you can do this.

& lastly - because I've haven't lost my sense of humour ... lol.

the 2nd time our lives changed, forever

That's baby and me at 40 weeks, the day before my due date.

The past two weeks have been surreal.

My labour was ... good. As good as the act of labour could be, lol.
The contractions started around 9am, right when I woke up in the morning lasting about 30 seconds every 7-10 minutes. I knew that I wanted to stay at home for as long as possible. (Who wants to hang out in the hospital all day? So uncomfortable!) but I also knew that the side road drive to Credit Valley would take almost 1/2 an hour. That part made me most nervous. Around 3:00pm, my contractions were still lasting about 30 seconds but were coming faster, about every 5-7 minutes. I called the hospital again and the nurses advised us to make our way down and get assessed (especially because I had a pretty "short" labour with Aiden - approximately 5 1/2 hours) better safe than sorry. I called my Dad to come get Aiden, we packed his back pack and let him know that the next time he saw us, we could have our baby with us! Ryan and I cleaned up the house a bit and shortly left after Aiden was picked up. We arrived at the hospital around 4:30pm and was assessed once we got there. I was 3cm dilated and was being admitted! This was it! We were going to have our baby!! Oh shit.

I told them from the get go that I was going to attempt to do this naturally (again). The nurses were giving me straight kuddos for this decision. I've always told myself that if I was "dying" and truly felt like I wasn't going to make it (lol) - I wouldn't feel guilty asking for an epidural. But I've done it once naturally before, I can do it again ... right? Right? ... Right?


At 6:00pm, I was examined again & was 6cm dilated. My contractions were happening every 2-3 minutes at this point and they were getting pretty intense. I must say, breathing was beyond key during contractions. With each contraction, I placed myself in a serene world, a world of my own and focused heavily on getting through them. I wanted to scream, loud - but I controlled myself. I figured, what's screaming and kicking going to do besides make me look like a crazy person. The doctor then came in to break my water. He informed me that he was confident that we would have our baby no later than 9:00 this evening. Excited, thrilled, scared and nervous all at the same time - before the end of the day we were going to be a family of four! 

I was shortly transferred to our birthing suite, which was the epitope of a suite. It was clean & spacious. Except the temperature was a bit off ... well maybe just for me. I was asking Ryan to fan me on second but then put extra blankets on me the next second. I was having some serious hot / cold sweat. Love Ryan for being such a trooper and just doing anything and everything to make me more comfortable.

(Insert thought of epidural right about now).

By 6:50pm I was feeling intense pressure on my behind and the need to push ... NOW. The nurse came back into my room to check me and I was 8cm dilated. She said, "you're just at 8cm, so not yet". I asked her if I was allowed to go to the washroom - she replied, "poop or pee?" ... I said I wasn't sure (lol). She said that I wasn't allowed - cause if I went to the washroom, my baby would be born in the toilet ... and of course, I didn't want that. She then left. I was still feeling INTENSE pressure and the need to PUSH. I  kept my composure until this moment. I screamed at my lovely mom to get someone, anyone in here. It felt like beyond forever for someone to come into our room. (I later found out that the nurses were doing a shift change, which contributed to the lack of response to my request). Ryan and I were the only ones in the birthing suite for a moment & in this moment, with one big grunt and a loud scream - baby's head was out (ek!). I guess my scream finally caused some attention, because after that grunt a gazillion (ok, like six) nurses came to my rescue. Two seconds later and one more loud grunt, baby's body was out (yay!). I explain it like a "slip and slide" event. It literally felt as if she slipped right out of me - much less work & drama compared to my first birthing experience. My anxiety and nervousness was over - & it was all worth it.

My mind took a double take when they said, it's a girl.
Really? A baby girl? Really?! Our little family is complete (for now).

On her exact due date of July 2nd, we were blessed with a beautiful, happy and healthy baby girl. At 7:13pm, weighing 6 pounds, 3 ounces and measuring 19 inches, our little Sadie Quinn was here.

Fifteen minutes later, the doctor arrived, no where near in time for my labour, but ...
... to remove my placenta. Such an awkward, weird feeling.
I wasn't hooked up to an IV this time, which was nice because I felt more mobile and comfortable that I was able to use both my hands. I was feeling minimum pain post-labour, but was just quite hungry and TIRED.

Skin-to-skin is a big thing at the hospital. We spent the next half an hour just basking in the moment and feeling beyond blessed that we brought another life into this world. Then we nursed, they say that suckling and attentiveness is most evident during the first few minutes of birth. After we were settled in and "cleaned up", my mom went out to the waiting room to get Kuya A.


BEST MOMENT, ever.

The look on his face, I will never forget. He was finally a big brother & he was loving every moment of it.
& just like us, A was completely smitten over S.

the roller coaster nights of pregnancy

So today, is a not so awesome day.

I haven't been sleeping the best, but really, I've just been dealing with is and for the most part - I make out ok. Last night was rough. On my drive home from my parents place (close to 8pm), not sure how to explain it, but I was feeling a sort of blurriness to my vision or at least the sensation of blurriness. All I knew what I need to move fast, get home, get our nighttime routine on override and sleep.

Luckily, Aiden was cooperating full force and we were in bed in no time. I was restless, tossed and tured with my eyes closed and a headache for probably an hour. Ryan rushed home (he's the best) and started playing doctor with me, googling my symptoms - trying to determine the cause / severity of my "illness". As he was doing this, I started to feel a tingly sensation moving from my fingers up my arms. I also felt the same tingly-ness on my togue. (slight deja-vu, I've felt this before - during one of my period dying-like episodes - went to the ER - to find out I was a-okay). Ryan totally wanted to head to the ER after this, but I was ... not ready for that, just yet. The thing about heading to the ER when it's not an emergency is that, well - you could be there for forever. And really, my pain wasn't severe and baby was alive and kicking (hard).

He cranked the AC up since he read somewhere that I could be dehydrated and the body temperature of pregnant women can be quite high (lol). He drove out to Shoppers to grab me some iron supplements since we know that I have low iron and want to avoid anaemia. I said I was hungry, so Ryan also asked me what I wanted (and of course, since I had a pass, I couldn't think of anything but a dan muffin) - a chocolate chip muffin it was. I ate the muffin, took an iron pill with a glass of milk and tried, once again to sleep. Ryan rubbed my belly until I fell asleep.

Decided to work from home today. The risk with driving my at least 1 hour commute was just too much. Side note: I'm trying to to let it stress me, but my plate at work is overfilled. It has been since I started, but I'm getting worn out thin - physically & emotionally. Must stay positive, must hang in there - this will be my mantra.

The most frusting bit is that the OB office didn't open until 9am. I called for 45 mins and each time I called it went to voicemail (is that even allowed?) & on Wednesdays our family doctor is open from 3-8pm (is that allowed? lol) so I wasn't able to get an appointment until 6:45 pm. But of course, better safe than sorry. Just want to make sure all is OK - it's easy to attribute me being fatigue and my exhaustion to my pregnancy, but you can never be so safe (esp. this late in the game!)

Aiden however, has been fantastic all day long. Can't get enough of this guy, honestly.
He fed himself lunch today, oh and he fed Teddy lunch too! Love!

That Damn Orange Pop

As mentioned earlier, I had the past 3 days off from work - which have been beyond glorious. It was like a snippet of what's ahead - my Maternity Leave, and I couldn't be more thrilled. The countdown begins, 7 weeks of work left! (which also means, 7 weeks to find and successfully train my replacement ... joy)

The text message that Ryan sent to me yesterday was in regards to something that's going on within my pregnancy. Until now, things have been "perfect" - nothing much to worry about, nothing to be startled about (kind of the way I like it). But of course, things are aren't what they seem - and we have to trust in God that things will always work out in the end. Maybe I'm overreacting ... maybe.

A few weeks ago, I took my Glucose Test, typically done during 24 - 28 weeks of pregnancy - where you drink a orange pop like drink (but not like orange pop - cause orange pop is kind of more delicious) and draw blood after an hour. This test / screening is to check for Gestational Diabetes - a high blood sugar condition that some women get during pregnancy. A week or so after taking the test our (family) doctor called me to book an appointment to discuss my glucose test. (insert nervous shake here, anything that the doctor won't tell you over the phone can't be the best news, right?). So I went for my appointent and apparently my results were high - high enough that I needed to go for further testing. My initial reaction was disbelief. Mainly because I truly felt as if I was "healthier" this pregnancy - not giving in to every single little sweet tooth craving, but eating well, normally. I was shocked. The thought of a "problem" with my baby or myself for that matter - erks me. You can say that I'm not the best person when it comes to crisis-type situations. I was sad. Just cause. I felt like I failed ...

I had my OB appointment yesterday and again, minus the whole glucose thing - all was "perfect". Baby's heart beat is strong (melts my heart every single time), my size is good and well, all was going "according to plan". I was going to take the suggested gestational diabetes test, part 2 - but my doctor failed to tell me I had to fast for 12 hours (a pregs lady fasting for 12 hours - stay outta my way!) I ended up going first thing this morning. They drew blood when I first arrived (to test my total blood count), I had to drink that orange pop drink (tastes even worse when it's the 1st thing you consume in the am) and they drew blood every hour - for 2 hours. & food and drink was not allowed - gah. So my dear buddy Aiden and I waited and waited (& I anxiously and starving-ly watched him have all sorts of snacks that we packed for him in his backpack). Hoping the results are ... OK. and that we're OK.

Thank God I have the best family. 
& that Ryan and A are always there to make sure that I'm the happiest (also because it's in their best interest to do so!, lol). We'll get through it together right? We always have, & we always will.

A List of 12: Foods That I'm Craving!

Since this is the first of my "list series" ... I'll do a bit of an introduction. As mentioned before, I'm a sucker for things that will aid the blogging process. (But I must admit, I'm proud of my consistency thus far!) I've chosen to do "a list of 12" mainly because of the year that we're currently in, but also because it's truly a number that's so significant in my relationship with Ryan. We met on August 12. Our first date was on October 12. He asked me to be his girlfriend on January 12 (lol). and then 6 years later, we got married on January 12. Just a little "Ryan et Charisse" history for ya!

Okay, back to the purpose of my post ... and in not particular order ...

1. Chips & guac (homemade is the best!)
2. Panera's mac & cheese
3. Gas station slushies
4. Green mangos & shrimp paste
5. Skor bits on my ice cream
6. Root beer
7. Pumpkin seeds
8. Macaroons
9. Any & all seafood
10. French fries
11. These
12. Froyo

I have to say, in terms of cravings, this pregnancy is much more tame than my first one! Even Ryan agrees, minimum late night runs for him!

Book Orders; Version 1

Remember Scholastic Book Orders during elementary school? I loved those! And book fairs? I think I've always been fond of reading. There's nothing like being captivated by the words of a good novel. & let's face it, the book is always better than the movie.

Ryan definitely also has a love affair with books - more so, culinary books and cook books, but books none the less. He uses them for inspiration, for learning and who doesn't love the scrumptious pictures. We introduced Aiden to books very early and you can see the complete awe in his face when you're reading the story to him. The face of, "what's going to happen next!" Ryan and I used to always tease that one of our favourite date night spots is Chapters. Grabbing a coffee at Starbucks and then grabbing whatever books catch our eye and skimming them one by one. We rarely buy the books at the store because they're so much cheaper on their website! & all orders over $25 are eligible for free shipping - win, win! Plus, they arrive to your front door and rather fast! Another win!

Our lastest book steals include:

(from left to right)
The Lover's Dictionary: A Novel by David Levithan
The Whole Beast: Nose to Tail Eating by Fergus Henderson
The Incredible Book Eating Boy by Oliver Jeffers

Ryan and Aiden are much in love with their picks and I'll be sure to give you some insights on mine once I hammer through it. I read a review that it was the type of book that really just makes you "laugh out loud" - love those kinds of easy reads. Next order, I'll be sure to have Aiden pick out his choice for baby. Kind of like his 1st present as a big brother - I'm sure he'll enjoy that "responsibility" ;)

Happy Reading!

The ABCs of Me

Hello! Saw this post idea off another blogger. I'm always for blog idea prompts. So here we go!

Age: 26. Oldest of four. Can't even believe that I turn 27 this year, yikes!

Bedsize: King baby.

Chores that you hate: Taking the compost and the garbage out ...

Dogs: I'm definitely not really an animal person.

Essential start to your day: Pre-pregnancy days, it was always a coffee. Now breakfast is essential.

Favorite color: I always just have an "at the moment" fav colour - right now it's teal. well, and grey.

Gold or Silver: Silver.

Height: Short, but taller than Mom.

Instruments you play: I don't think I've ever played an instrument ... how sad!

Job title: Godess to my hubs, and mama to the sweetest boy. But my job title that pays the bills - Human Resources Coordinator, Canada East

Kids: A (our crazy almost 4 year old) and baby #2 in the belly.

Live: Find what you love & do it, for the rest of your life.

Mother’s Name: Blesilda, Bessie for short.

Nicknames: CHING. Artes. CdL.

Overnight hospital stays: Only for labour and delivery, hoping there's no other time.

Pet peeves: A sink full of dishes. People who don't say "thank you" when you hold the door for them. Bad drivers.

Quote from a movie or tv show: “You're the one I want next to me, when all my dreams come true”

Right or Lefty: Right is right.

Siblings: We're all approx. 5 years apart - Wayne, William & Chelsea.

Time you wake up: earlier than I would like - 6:45am.

Underwear: Like do I wear any? Yes, everyday.

Vegetable you hate: Cooked carrots.

What makes you run late: Clothes crisis. I have a closet full of clothes, but never have anything to wear.

X-Rays You’ve Had: Do dental x-rays count?

Yummy food you make: Tamarind-based filipino like stew? ... Sinigang. Let's face it, cooking is def one of the things that Ryan trumps me in.

Zoo Animal: Did I mention that I wasn't really an animal person?