Thursday, July 26, 2012

I make milk ...

What's your superpower? ...

Breastfeeding is hard. 
I think that it's the most under-rated, least talked about topic when it comes to pregnancy and labour. & to be honest, it's definitely not easier the second time around.

With Aiden, I didn't even know that I wanted to breastfeed. The early days were a huge blur. I can remember crying (lots) in the wee hours of the morning because we just weren't getting it. Learning to breastfeed truly tested my patience. But with time, practice & patience - it was a wonderful experience, & I was able to nurse until Aiden was 1 years old.

With Sadie (here comes the comparison again), just when I feel like we've finally got the hang of things, an improper latch brings me back to square one. It's frustrating, it's painful and it's tough. But again, like most things during the "newborn phase" -it's a learning experience, we will get better & the rough patches will pass. I have to believe this - for my sanity's sake!

But I am determined to make this work for us.
I stumbled across this this morning ... & it couldn't be more bang on:

Don’t stress too much about achieving the perfect latch or breastfeeding position. 
If it works for you and baby then it’s perfect for you guys! It will take time for you and baby to figure out a way that is comfortable for you both, it’s a learned skill.

I also stumbled across this, which I thought it was interesting and a nice reminder of the benefits of breastfeeding.

So in theory, we must ... try, try & try again.
The sound of Sadie sucking and swallowing the goodness and the look of content on her face after a full feeding ... makes it all worth it. Giving up is really not an option. So, as Ryan would say - hang in there tiger - you can do this.

& lastly - because I've haven't lost my sense of humour ... lol.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

At 9:35pm ...

both my babies were asleep!
I grabbed a bowl of cherries and plopped myself in front of the TV - The Last Song was on the W network. Ah, a moment to myself :)

At 9:58pm, I found this ...

Well that was short lived, lol.

Friday, July 20, 2012

hush little baby

From what I can remember, we always had a hard time putting Baby A to sleep. We'd rock him, swaddle him, dance with him, let me sleep on our chest - pretty much anything and everything that would make him sleep & allow for us to get that minute of shut eye.

These were a lifesaver.
The instrumental versions are soothing and relaxing, to both baby and mommy (& daddy). Last night Ryan played these tunes for Sadie and she had the same reaction to them as Aiden did. She's was dozing off in daddy's arms. This morning when I played the tracks after she was having a mini fit, it's like she took it all in and simply smiled. Amazing what music can do.  

Baby S is pretty different from Baby A (some people think they look alike, but I think S definitely looks like her daddy!). She seems to go to sleep much easier during the day and at night. When she's tired, you can tell and right after she nurses, she's knocked out & add swaddle to the mix and she's good for an hour ... or two. Last night she went 5 hours between feedings (of course, this startled me completely). On one hand, I'm completely thankful that our baby isn't keeping us up at night and we don't look like complete zombies during the day, but on the other hand, my panic mama radar pops up and I start to feel like I'm not feeding my baby enough! (esp. cause I'm so used to being a nursing machine during the day time). I guess my mantra through this whole newborn phase is that Sadie will let me know if she needs something from me, right? When she's awake ... she's happy, she koos and she smiles and when she's sleeping ... we let her sleep. Because really, it's only moments until she's looking for me and my chest again :)

Thursday, July 19, 2012

picnic lunch with my lovelys

Of course, I live for when Ryan is off from work.
Although he can't help much with Sadie - since she seems to be attached to my boob - he's able to entertain and give A much love and attention, which makes me happy.

Yesterday we decided to head down to Lowville park with a packed lunch of simple sandwiches (ancient grains bread, chicken breast, havarti cheese & avocado mayo, plus dijon mustard for Ry). The weather was nice, it was hot in the sun, but enjoyable in the shade. Seemed like Sadie had the best nap of her life & Aiden loves being outdoors.

We're still not able to "go-out" just yet, mainly because S loves to cluster feed during the day - usually every 1-2 hours. I'm definitely nursing her on demand. I figure if she wants to nurse all day, but then sleep anywhere from 3-4 hours straight at night - it seems like more than a fair trade off! Things are getting a bit easier. We're definitely still adjusting to having a newborn & a pre-schooler around. I'd say that my biggest challenge is managing my time between Sadie and Aiden. I "feel bad" that I spend most of my day nursing S - which leaves A to play / entertain himself (hence why I love when Ry is around).  But overall, Aiden seems happy - and maybe I'm making a big deal of out nothing. I know they say to sleep when baby is sleeping, but when Sadie naps - I definitely use this time to catch up with A or get some housework done. Thank God I'm not feeling too tired or overwhelmed - I'm truly enjoying this ride.

I'm also enjoying having coffee back in my life ... and last night, Ryan and I treated ourselves to some sushi!

My 1st batch since Sadie was born, but only takeout, of course - just the thought of bringing her to a restaurant still make me cringe. But I'm sure with time we'll get there, I know that Aiden is missing our dine out nights! Truly taking it one day at a time.

love notes & lunch!

I kind of have the best husband.
He's my fav.

Waking up to little love notes left on the kitchen counter with lunch ready to be served - bonus!
Definitely makes things a lot easier around here!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

the 2nd time our lives changed, forever

That's baby and me at 40 weeks, the day before my due date.

The past two weeks have been surreal.

My labour was ... good. As good as the act of labour could be, lol.
The contractions started around 9am, right when I woke up in the morning lasting about 30 seconds every 7-10 minutes. I knew that I wanted to stay at home for as long as possible. (Who wants to hang out in the hospital all day? So uncomfortable!) but I also knew that the side road drive to Credit Valley would take almost 1/2 an hour. That part made me most nervous. Around 3:00pm, my contractions were still lasting about 30 seconds but were coming faster, about every 5-7 minutes. I called the hospital again and the nurses advised us to make our way down and get assessed (especially because I had a pretty "short" labour with Aiden - approximately 5 1/2 hours) better safe than sorry. I called my Dad to come get Aiden, we packed his back pack and let him know that the next time he saw us, we could have our baby with us! Ryan and I cleaned up the house a bit and shortly left after Aiden was picked up. We arrived at the hospital around 4:30pm and was assessed once we got there. I was 3cm dilated and was being admitted! This was it! We were going to have our baby!! Oh shit.

I told them from the get go that I was going to attempt to do this naturally (again). The nurses were giving me straight kuddos for this decision. I've always told myself that if I was "dying" and truly felt like I wasn't going to make it (lol) - I wouldn't feel guilty asking for an epidural. But I've done it once naturally before, I can do it again ... right? Right? ... Right?

At 6:00pm, I was examined again & was 6cm dilated. My contractions were happening every 2-3 minutes at this point and they were getting pretty intense. I must say, breathing was beyond key during contractions. With each contraction, I placed myself in a serene world, a world of my own and focused heavily on getting through them. I wanted to scream, loud - but I controlled myself. I figured, what's screaming and kicking going to do besides make me look like a crazy person. The doctor then came in to break my water. He informed me that he was confident that we would have our baby no later than 9:00 this evening. Excited, thrilled, scared and nervous all at the same time - before the end of the day we were going to be a family of four! 

I was shortly transferred to our birthing suite, which was the epitope of a suite. It was clean & spacious. Except the temperature was a bit off ... well maybe just for me. I was asking Ryan to fan me on second but then put extra blankets on me the next second. I was having some serious hot / cold sweat. Love Ryan for being such a trooper and just doing anything and everything to make me more comfortable.

(Insert thought of epidural right about now).

By 6:50pm I was feeling intense pressure on my behind and the need to push ... NOW. The nurse came back into my room to check me and I was 8cm dilated. She said, "you're just at 8cm, so not yet". I asked her if I was allowed to go to the washroom - she replied, "poop or pee?" ... I said I wasn't sure (lol). She said that I wasn't allowed - cause if I went to the washroom, my baby would be born in the toilet ... and of course, I didn't want that. She then left. I was still feeling INTENSE pressure and the need to PUSH. I  kept my composure until this moment. I screamed at my lovely mom to get someone, anyone in here. It felt like beyond forever for someone to come into our room. (I later found out that the nurses were doing a shift change, which contributed to the lack of response to my request). Ryan and I were the only ones in the birthing suite for a moment & in this moment, with one big grunt and a loud scream - baby's head was out (ek!). I guess my scream finally caused some attention, because after that grunt a gazillion (ok, like six) nurses came to my rescue. Two seconds later and one more loud grunt, baby's body was out (yay!). I explain it like a "slip and slide" event. It literally felt as if she slipped right out of me - much less work & drama compared to my first birthing experience. My anxiety and nervousness was over - & it was all worth it.

My mind took a double take when they said, it's a girl.
Really? A baby girl? Really?! Our little family is complete (for now).

On her exact due date of July 2nd, we were blessed with a beautiful, happy and healthy baby girl. At 7:13pm, weighing 6 pounds, 3 ounces and measuring 19 inches, our little Sadie Quinn was here.

Fifteen minutes later, the doctor arrived, no where near in time for my labour, but ...
... to remove my placenta. Such an awkward, weird feeling.
I wasn't hooked up to an IV this time, which was nice because I felt more mobile and comfortable that I was able to use both my hands. I was feeling minimum pain post-labour, but was just quite hungry and TIRED.

Skin-to-skin is a big thing at the hospital. We spent the next half an hour just basking in the moment and feeling beyond blessed that we brought another life into this world. Then we nursed, they say that suckling and attentiveness is most evident during the first few minutes of birth. After we were settled in and "cleaned up", my mom went out to the waiting room to get Kuya A.


The look on his face, I will never forget. He was finally a big brother & he was loving every moment of it.
& just like us, A was completely smitten over S.

Monday, July 16, 2012

next day delivery, love it!

I ordered the lovely Skip Hop Pronto Changing Station from yesterday and the UPS man rang my door today!
How fantastic is that?! - especially because I've been on a social world hiatus since Sadie was born (lol).
This online shopping bit could get a tad dangerous ...

Working on a post about my labour experience for the second time, the birth of our perfect little girl & the first few days of having two kids ... can you believe that I'm a bit busy nowadays?