guilty

I never really had a goal in which I wanted to breastfeed until (honestly, I didn't even know I wanted to breastfeed at all). It was definitely the one thing that I completely overlooked when researching and learning throughout my pregnancy. Even though it was touch (so tough) at first, especially during the first few weeks (sore nipples, bleeding, improper latches), it has been the best feeling being able to nurse the best nutrients into A. I am so glad that I had the strength to stick through it & so happy that Ryan has supported me throughout the entire process. But now that I have (exclusively for 7 months), I'm feeling guilty that I'm having thoughts of weaning. I've been really thinking about giving Aiden (well, teaching him) to feed from a bottle. We tried a few times before, but were never really that keen on it or persistant enough, so of course, success was minimal. Aiden and I have established my milk supply (actually I have a great abundance, why let a good thing go to waste?). I'm not even quite sure of my reasons for intiating this self-led weaning process - I'm feeling selfish (mainly because I know that breastmilk is the best thing for my baby). I also feel like I'm going to miss that true sense of connection with A (I'll never forget the first time they placed him on my chest when he was born ... instant gratification). The bond that you are able to create through nursing is so satisfying and indescribable. I am torn.