the start of all things girly!

We took the plunge and got Sadie her "girl tags". Ryan had to step away, heaven forbid daddy's little girl felt some pain (already loving their relationship!, hehehe). But after a little bit of anxiousness from me (what if they made a mistake!) and a bit of crying from her (ouch!), the deed was done!

 We seriously cannot get enough of you baby girl!

happy birthday Ma!

I'm preggs with Sadie in this photo, but that was before we knew Sadie was Sadie lol.

My relationship with my Ma hasn't always been this way. For the most of my teenage years, I probably caused my mom more grey hairs than she ever wanted. But I still like to think that overall, I was an OK kid. Hahaha. (Ma, you an insert your sarcastic remarks now, since I know you follow my blog from time to time). As I got older and really started to have big girl responsibilities (let's remember, I became a wife and a mama in the same year!), I started to count on my mom for her input, advice and well, I started to enjoy her company (that's probably because we were no longer living in the same house & she now had Chelsea to "yell" at, muuhahahaa!). My rebelliousness ceased and I started to understand the sacrifices that she made for us growing up. I know I can never (ever) "re-pay" her (and dad) for all that they've done for my siblings and I (and of course, Ry, A and now Sadie too), but what I can do is instill the same values, traditions and humour in my own parenting with my own kiddies. Now that I have my own daughter (woot!), I'm sure I'll have my own tasting of what it was really like to have a baby girl - the good, bad & ugly, hehehe.

So enjoy enjoy your day Ma, you deserve every bit of it.
I love you.

xx, Ching.

Tonight ...

Don't get me wrong.
I am in love with the luxury of being home to care for both my babes. I get to witness the little moments, the big moments. I'm here / there, day in and day out.

But tonight ...
Tonight, I am envious of those who have their partner in crime along with them in the evenings. Because tonight, I am exhausted. I'm trying to be upbeat & not be short with Aiden - he's doing nothing wrong. But I am tired. And though it's Friday, my (most hard working) hubs doesn't have a day off until Wednesday. So I guess I'm also envious of those who have their partners during the weekend ... sigh.

Small sacrifices for bigger gains, Charisse. It's as simple (and as complicated) as that.

Okay, that was my rant.
Happy Friday.

list series: life thoughts fluttering in my mind

1. In less than one month, I will be ... twenty-seven. That's the closest to thirty I've ever been, ek!

2. Our Sadie girl will be four months soon, where is time going & how do we get it to slow down?

3. I want to de-clutter & get rid of the amount of "stuff"in our home. We have too much stuff.

4. Must start using my Moleskine again ... love seeing creative progress.

5. This & this:

 

6. I got to man up & start. It's time.

7. Have faith & the rest will follow. Promise.

8. Continue to feed Aiden's curiousity. He is still smitten about waking up every morning to go to school. Let's hope the novelty doesn't wear off!

I've been cooking!

Yes, it's true.
I'm finally making use of the million recipes I've pinned on Pinterest.
Thursday, A and I made spinach lasagna rolls, super easy & yumm-o. A asked to bring some as his lunch at school the next day, so that's gotta say something for my cooking (insert super happy mama smile now).

I tweaked the recipe just a tad, used fresh spinach & made my own tomato sauce (so simple!). I impress myself sometimes, lol.
Conquering some coconut chicken tonight! Ryan's made this for us before, but me doing it on my own is a different ball game. Yay for new recipes & yummy food.

Happy Saturday!

three months!

(YES, I realize just how late I am in doing this ...)

Time is flying.
Your (big) personality is coming through, I could barely get you to sit still for this months photos!

At three months ...

-After these last few size 1 diapers, you're moving into size 2 - woot woot!
-We've stopped swaddling you, but you've learnt to roll over! (such a milestone!)
-Sleepers and sleep sacks at night time
-Your sleeping patterns at night have been a hit or miss, but for the most part we're still getting decent sleep (roughly) 8pm to 2am.
-So back to the rolling over part, you've mastered rolling from your back to your belly (only from the left side so far) & now practicing belly to your back - you're head and shoulder strength is quite sturdy
-Tummy time, all the time
-Mama says, "aaahhhhh ba!" and we usually get a cute little chuckle outta you :D
-Daddy asks you every morning, "are you going to work today?" and you can sit and chat forever and ever ... you also always beat Daddy in staring contests
-Everyone always says, "oh my, she's soooooo good" ... we've dubbed you "our show baby"
-You adore your reflection in the mirror
-Lack of hair, don't care ... hahaha.

Here's what else we've been up to:

Sleeping
It could be much worst - that's what I always tell myself when things don't go "as planned" or "our way". For the most part, our last feed is around 7:15-7:45pm, it seems like you're longing for an earlier bedtime. You wake up anywhere from 12:30-3:00am & I always nurse you. Not too sure if you "need" it since our sessions tend to be short and sweet, but heck, I've always let you take the lead in this department. Plus, I love love the connection we have during this time - esp. when the rest of the house is sleeping.
I guess my fear is that with the holidays and all the events coming up, we'll disturb the good thing that we have going on (similar to what happened to Aiden around this age). Although Sunday night, we got home around 11:00pm from Thanksgiving dinner - I changed you into a fresh diaper and a fresh sleeper then nursed you and to my sweet surprise, you woke up at 7:15am this morning! (woot, woot!)
Like I said earlier, we've been using sleep sacks. Right now we have a Halo sleep sack and it works for us just fine. but recently just ordered a Grobag with a warmer setting for the cold nights ahead of us!
Naps are also getting slightly better. I try to put you down in your crib for naps, but once I start zipping up your sack, it's like you know the battle ahead ... we're not there yet, but we're working on it! Also, you've taken a liking of sleeping flat on your face ... during the day time I let you, but I'm too afraid at night!

Breastfeeding
It's been smooth sailing and basically second nature to the both of us now. I'm still feeding on demand - esp. during growth spurts. Our "schedule" is typically every 3 hours - 8, 11, 2, 5, then our last feeding around bedtime. Sadie will wake up at least once for a "middle of the night" session. The duration of each session is typically anywhere from 5-20 minutes, but I always offer both breasts. Sometimes it feels like you're snacking, lol and when we're out and about you tend to nurse much quicker than when we're at home. My favourite is nursing laying down for our 1st session of the day ... I love waking up to your sweet smile.  

Weight
I called the doctor to make your 3 month check up and it looks like she's on vacation on October 19th! BOO! Definitely curious to see how much you weigh now. I've started putting away clothes that no longer fit your chubby self, so that's a good sign! Time is flying ...

Challenges
Life in general is challenging. So, it takes us a little longer to get ready, we're sometimes late for where we need to be - but so what. I am adoring caring for two little ones, esp. because their needs couldn't be more different. To my surprise (and luckily), A's jealousy of Sadie is little to none. On occasion he'll have the odd pout because I can't play with him right that moment because I'm nursing Sadie, but I feel like we're managing our time quite nicely. He truly is an awesome big brother.

With Ryan's "new" job, we don't have the luxury of him working down the street and leaving 5 minutes before his shift. His days are longer and he's away from us more. (Again, I tell myself and him - small sacrifices for bigger gains). Aiden, Sadie and I stil have crazy evenings, but we make do. And I am forever thankful for the nights when Ryan's off and is able to help. Aiden's school night bedtime is 7:30-7:45pm (which also coincides with Sadie's last nursing session before her bedtime). Let's just say  a lot has to happen before this time.

Me: Post-Partum

My main goal was to fit into my bridesmaid's dress - and to my surprise it was a tad big (so yay me!) - hahaha. Toning is definitely what needs to happen. I'm still trying to eat better. Bigger breakfasts, lighter dinners and healthier snacks. Ryan has been supportive (as per usual), but with the holidays kicking in - I doubt my self-control will probably fly out the window, esp. because I've never been the one to limit myself from anything (food related) - all in moderation, of course. But overall, I know I have weight to loose - but I'm happy with myself and my kiddies (and hubs) loves me - right? That's what counts. I haven't weighed myself since I was preggs - I'll start there, lol. Oh and I am in dire need of a haircut ... that'll make me feel lighter, right? Right? Hahaha.

Have I said it yet? ... Time is flying. FLYING.

 

"ma, can we line up for the photo booth please!"

What a busy weekend!
I definitely live for the weekends, but typically for low-key, let's do a whole lot of nothing type of weekends. But nevertheless, the weekend was spent with our friends and family - so it was good one!

A few days ago, I stumbled across this post on Facebook posted by someone I went to high school with, a fellow mama.
As I read, I sobbed ...
Here are some paragraphs that I related to instantly:

Too much of a mama's life goes undocumented and unseen. People, including my children, don't see the way I make sure my kids' favorite stuffed animals are on their beds at night. They don't know how I walk the grocery store aisles looking for treats that will thrill them for a special day. They don't know that I saved their side-snap, paper-thin baby shirts from the hospital where they were born or their little hospital bracelets in keepsake boxes high on the top shelves of their closets. They don't see me tossing and turning in bed wondering if I am doing an okay job as a mother, if they are okay in their schools, where we should take them for a vacation, what we should do for their birthdays. I'm up long past the news on Christmas Eve wrapping presents and eating cookies and milk, and I spend hours hunting the Internet and the local Targets for specially-requested Halloween costumes and birthday presents. They don't see any of that.

I'm everywhere in their young lives, and yet I have very few pictures of me with them. Someday I won't be here -- and I don't know if that someday is tomorrow or thirty or forty or fifty years from now -- but I want them to have pictures of me. I want them to see the way I looked at them, see how much I loved them. I am not perfect to look at and I am not perfect to love, but I am perfectly their mother.

& then, on Friday, at one of my best friend's wedding - where I was a bridesmaid, up at 6am for hair and makeup (after being awake at 3am for a feed), then feeding little Miss Sadie every three hours throughout the day, and where my (wonderful-est, bestest, most patient) husband travelled with both kiddies from the ceremony to the reception while I took photos with the bridal party ...

... this photo happened.
I had just finished nursing Sadie for the umteenth time and Aiden wanted to eat dessert at the head table with me. The MOH saw A and I taking "selfies" with my iPhone and offered to take a photo for us. Of course, I declined the offer at first ... but then gave in and gave her my phone. I was sweating, exhausted and slightly annoyed because it felt like my false lash was falling off. But in the midst of the craziness, to capture a moment like this ... melts my heart. These are the moments that I live for.

You better believe we lined up for the photo booth! It was Aiden's favourite part! Too bad Sadie was a pooper and was sleeping ... LOL.

my hopes are so high

I guess you can blame my semi-hiatus because of some changes happening within our lives and our family. I've always trusted that things will work out in the end & as cliche as it sounds, that everything happens for a reason. But I feel vulnerable, semi-defeated and well, sad. I have to believe that this isn't a step backwards, but rather a step in the right direction. What kills me the most, is the fact that you're one of the hardest working people I know and you deserve better than all of this. But, my faith is strong that you'll do wonders in this world. You've never let us down, ever. And I trust you with my whole heart, completely ...

I want the best for you, I always have.

I want to focus on what makes me happy and spend my time with the people that matter most.

I want to live a simpler life.

slack attack

Yes I am aware I've been slacking.
Yes I will be back.

Promise :)