I'm not ready for another goodbye

I seem to be masking all my sadness - through laughter. I'm fining myself being irritated easily, angry with my partner-in-crime because of the pain that hits my heart. I'm not ready to battle this emotional roller coaster. I'm not ready for yet another goodbye.

My head is telling me, that there's no reason to feel this way. That we'll wait until things are etched in stone, before we start feeling sorry. But my heart is trying to prepare, for the things that are to come - the inevitable.

I'm loosing hope, loosing faith.
I'm spending the free time that I have making, creating, bundling the memories that we've shared. Because one day, that's what I'll be clinching onto.